YOU CONTROL YOUR REALITY - SERIOUSLY.

Everyone has the life they create. If it isn't the life you want, change it - the only thing holding you back is you (and your comfort zone).

A lot of us have a hard time dreaming big and believing those dreams are actually attainable. We get held back by thoughts and what we think our reality consists of. Well, guess what? It's all BS. I've said it before and I'll say it again until every reader truly realizes that you create your reality. If you don't like your reality or have something you want outside of what you think is attainable - YOU CAN CHANGE IT!

This is some great and terrifying news. Great because we realize we can have anything we want. Terrifying because in order to get there, we obviously need to change our current perception and get to work on cultivating the reality we've always dreamed of.

Most people don't like change. Change is outside of our comfort zone, trying new things, facing fears that have held us in the stagnant place we're in - it's scary.

Let me give you an example. After my first relationship, I kept imagining the next person to be a little better, but not quite what I wanted. I want romance, compassion, humor, adventure. I want it all, but for some reason I kept circling back to what I found my past reality to be: a good guy with an average or mediocre love story compared to what I've seen in movies. This brought me down - why would I want to move on to something when I knew that better things existed? That led me to have this revolutionary and seemingly obvious thought: you can have everything you want without compromise if you believe you can - you just have to shift your perspective and reality.

So how dos one shift their reality? That seems really hard. . . It's not, we just try to make it hard because we loooove our comfort zones. But we also hate them because they hold us back. So in order to shift our perspectives, there's two main things we need to do:

1. Surround ourselves with people and experiences we want to cultivate into our reality.

2. Run right at fear.

Let me elaborate.

Surround ourselves with people and experiences we want to cultivate into our reality.

The reason we think our lives are stuck and hold ourselves back from chasing our (seemingly out of reach) dreams is because it's all we've ever known. If you're looking for your soulmate - someone that has all the qualities you want and treats you better than you can imagine, don't surround yourself with people who have decent, mediocre relationships. Hang out with the friends that are in healthy and passionate relationships. Realize that these people exist and then you can begin to better envision the person of your dreams walking into your life at any moment. You realize that what you want isn't far fetched but realistically attainable. . .

This doesn't just apply to relationships, it can also apply to your career, your wealth, your spirituality, your dreams - even how you think. ANYTHING. If you want to become a CEO and start your own bike delivering mattress company, start hanging out with other entrepreneurs that like biking. Draw inspiration from them, allow them to motivate you and maybe even connect you with people that can help you reach your goal. If you want to be more spiritual, hang out with yoga hippies that strengthen their relationship with the Universe every day of their lives.

The people and things we surround ourselves with rub off on us.

Think about it. Do you remember when you started hanging out with a new friend in high school and she said "like" in every sentence? You'd go home and your mom asked how your day was and your response was: "It was like, alright. Like, I went to class, then this boy and I like totally had a moment. Then I caught the bus and the ride was like, really hot." Or when you watch a super inspirational TED Talk and the speaker's energy rubs off on you and you feel totally energized and excited. Until it wears off. . .

We need to keep that energy up and make it more constant. You do that by keeping the

people that make you feel that way around; make them a part of your everyday life.

Run right at fear.

In general, the things that scare us are the things that hold us back from getting what we want. For example, we're afraid of failure, rejection, trying new things for fear that we'll be

bad at it or not accepted for who we are. HOWEVER, ironically enough, these are the things that we need to face if we want to move forward and chase our dreams. If we want to launch a business but we're scared of failing in front of others, we don't start because then we can't fail. It's a self-created catch 22. BUT if we face the fear with tenacity and courage, everything will come your way eventually. I'm not saying you won't fail or get rejected, but if you stick with it and don't let the setbacks turn into quitting, everything will come your way eventually. J.K. Rowling went to more than 20 publishers with Harry Potter and all of them told her that children's books don't sell. But she pushed through the rejection, believed in herself and stuck with it until her desired outcome came true. Bet those publishers have some regrets now. . . They missed out on a story worth BILLIONS. This can be YOU!

So how do you face your fears? You run right at them until they get the hell out of your way. An exercise that works for me is to try something new or something uncomfortable everyday. You learn what's out there by doing this and after you face something you weren't entirely comfortable with and come out the other side alive and well, you wonder why you were ever really scared in the first place.

Think about it. We've all had a time where we were so stressed out about giving a presentation, asking someone out, going on a roller coaster, passing a test. In the moment, it was terrifying, but once it was done - even if you bombed it - looking back a few years later - it doesn't seem so scary, if you remember it at all. You may even be an avid fan of roller coasters now.

In summary - YOU DESIGN YOUR REALITY. You just have to make the decision to get to work.