Let's Talk Love Languages.

Whether you're single, in a relationship or relation-canoe (not quite a ship, but also not quite single, AKA "it's complicated"), knowing your love language is helpful.

I didn't know much about love languages until I got stuck at an airport and sought refuge in the over-priced bookstore. I bought The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman and started reading. On the plane, the passenger next to me told me he'd read the book. He said when he'd asked for his father-in-law's blessing to marry his daughter, the father-in-law told him only if he read the book first.

What a great dad, am I right?

Love languages allow us to better know ourselves and relate to others.

If you're receiving love in the form of your love language and giving love in the form of your partner's language, you're probably doing pretty well for yourselves. If things are a little rocky, love languages can be a central source for issues that hinder couples' over-the-moon happiness.

So, what are the love languages?

There are five: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Gift Giving, Quality Time and Physical Touch.

Some of these can be misinterpreted for something they aren't (for example, Physical Touch isn't about having sex all the time and Gift Giving isn't about materialism). Here's what they actually mean with some examples:

Words of Affirmation: Saying supportive things to your partner

• Your partner tells you that you're doing a great job, how much they care about you, how they feel about you, thanks you for doing something or for just being the badass-you that you are.

Acts of Service: Doing helpful things for your partner

• Your partner unexpectedly does you a favor, helps cook dinner, runs an errand without being asked. Basically anything that your partner does to help lighten your burden out of the goodness of their hearts and their love for you, rather than needing to be asked.

Receiving Gifts: Giving your partner gifts that show you're thinking about them

• This can be big and extravagant or it could be a flower your partner picked outside. When your partner gets you a gift, it isn't necessarily about the thing itself. It's more about the effort and thought that went into it to show that they care about you. Thoughtful gifts affirm that our partner understands, accepts and thinks about us.

Quality Time: Spending meaningful (distraction-free) time with your partner

• You and your partner spend time together, just you two. No distractions, just good ole conversation and quality time. This could be taking a trip together, or planning a simple date night - as long as it involves uninterrupted time with just you guys.

Physical Touch: Being close to and caressed by your partner

• This isn't just sex (although that certainly qualifies), it's also subtle touches when you walk by, holding hands, hugs, laying or sitting together, forehead kisses, etc. Basically any physical touch that reassures you your partner is there and wants to be near you.

If you and your partner are experiencing some bumps in the road, figure out your languages and see if you can start expressing your feelings in their love languages and vice versa. You can take the test and read about your results here. See if it sheds some light into issues, or just step up your game and surprise your partner by putting in more effort to expressing your love.

If you're having any relationship issues in this Fickle Life, feel free to reach out and schedule a session! Let's help you navigate the ups and downs so that you can get the most out of your relationships and your life.